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View Profile FreedomMagnum
Naughtaisle...

Fred @FreedomMagnum

34, Male

NanoSymphonist

Eff University

Why?

Joined on 2/18/08

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Breakdown

Posted by FreedomMagnum - June 28th, 2019


For once in my life, I'm actually having a hard time with it all...


I've passed up multiple chances for happiness, fatherhood, stability, fame and fortune. I guess when I really think about it, it's kinda my fault for carrying a poor disposition about it... but I blame looking into profiles, and overdoing it. Seeing where a conflict of interest lies, and skipping ahead to figure out why the humans way of thinking, and direction of said thoughts, stop so short. Thus ultimately, limiting me by default. I'm not really into lying to people just to get what I need. I feel like being brought here, life OWES me that little. The truth is, no one's promised anything. I feel like that's the problem, we step into waste deep shit, and just shovel it aside into a bigger pile for the next person to end up stepping into on arrival, we don't care, and bring MORE shit to add to this already mountain high pile of bullshit. Jameel was right. We NEED higher IQs in order to maintain structure. Not that animals aren't peaceful, like I said they have their OWN way about going about things.


I'm trying to get passed all of this arguing. I don't mean to cause another, but simply existing is enough. But I am unsatisfied with not only the way things have gone, but the way we carry on with it. (Sex war, Race war, Age war, ect) To me it's all so senseless...SO fucking stupid...


And "dad" says fuck it all, cuz none of this shit matters anyhow...


I lack interest in this place. But, if my lust was a natural one, what was natural about sin anyhow? I'm upset...not only with my life, but life here in general has been nothing but a gigantic shit show after another...


I guess maybe I'm a fool for hoping it would end, but, humans opened the box. See, here's where the mix up lies. Everyone knows the story goes hope was the last out of the jar. No, hope was coupled with all the evils because hope never stood a change against knowledge. It's like trying to compare a "what-if" to a solid fact. "Well, what if I tried a spin on an original formula?" (You changed the formula based on the ingredient incorporated, or fucked it up worse) vs, the directions are right here, no need to guess. It was Zeus' way of a joke. Not that humans were smart enough to figure that out anyhow...


I find it difficult to even make up something. Even the stories running right now don't hold my interest...


Fuck, how do I change this?? Is it frame of mind, or physicality??? Is it hatred, or love??? Or a twisted mix of the two?

I'm so bothered that I cant find a way out... stuck in limbo, watching ghosts just moesy on along...


Fuck. I miss getting off after a long day of work, and coming home to my best friend and his family in MY house, and drinking beer. I miss having my own shit, I miss my baby( and her momma, really, she coulda came to live with us) I miss my music, I miss my money, I miss my car, and my cat (lol fuck ALL of you, she was MINE damnit) I miss robbing the bank, I miss my mountain of awesome games, I miss life....


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